The Wizard's Wonderful Invention
by omg.it's.wickedjelly
Summary: The students at Shiz are blessed with one of the greatest inventions in Oz well, on Earth: the computer. Only craziness can ensue…


**Author's Note: **Hey guys! It's my third snow day in a row, I don't want to do my homework, and so…I am bored out of my mind. What happens when a student, who is also a FanFictioneer, gets bored? Why, they write crazy FanFiction! Keep in mind this is only meant to cure my boredom (and to see if I can be funny…at all), but I'll accept any and all [constructive criticism. Of course. Because my quest is to become a better writer! -triumphantness- This will be a story that I'll update at random, and loosely follows the Wicked storyline. Kind of. :P Basically, Galinda and Elphaba hate each other right now, Fiyero is the new Hottie with a Body, and…yeah. So…read, review, and (hopefully) enjoy!

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Elphaba Thropp trudged into her dorm room, holding her school bag in one hand and a new device under her arm. The object, as Madame Morrible had announced to all of Shiz in over-excitement, was called a laptop. Brought by the Wizard from the mysterious world he came from, the laptop enabled students to talk to each other even when they weren't at the same location, research assignments on this place called Goozgle, and pretty much everything else they could think of. It was a mind-boggling concept that even she had trouble comprehending. But she was excited at the idea that she could research _anything_ she wanted. And it would all be there, "…at the click of a button." Or, at least, that's what Morrible claimed. 

Apparently, she was supposed to register at this "website" (a term she still didn't understand) called Wizardly Instant Communication. Elphaba then opened the laptop and pressed and held onto a green button for the instructed three clock ticks. The screen flashed, causing her to jump back in surprise. A moment later, it revealed many tiny pictures dotted across a larger picture of the Wizard. Elphaba hesitated, trying to figure out which button she should click on. She then spotted one labeled "Wizardly Instant Communication" and clicked on it.

After a couple clock-ticks, the screen switched to reveal a registering page. It asked her what she wanted her "screenname" to be. She thought for a moment, reflecting back to nicknames she had been called. Artichoke, string bean, cabbage…Lurline, this was hard. But after awhile she finally decided upon PhosfluorescentlyGreen (Galinda's latest.) Elphaba knew that she was no better than all those other cupcake-y cronies by copying something Galinda said, but for now it was have to do.

It was then that, as she began to work research by means of Goozgle, Galinda the Cupcake and her equally ridiculous friends flounced into the room, chattering about whatever rumor had sprouted amongst the fields of gossip at Shiz.

"Shenshen, did you hear about Lilina?" Galinda squealed.

"Sweet Oz, I did!" Shenshen exclaimed. "She and Ojkilin totally hooked up last night."

"After their go at the Philosophy Club, no doubt," Pfannee added, now lowering her voice to a whisper. "Apparently they were both–" She paused, having noticed her friend's hideoteous roommate for the first time. "Oh, hi, Artichoke."

Shenshen snapped her head in Elphaba's direction and gave her the meanest glare she could muster, something along the lines of a severe eye twitch.

"Hey there, Pfannee! Hope you're faring well," Elphaba replied, her tone faux-cheery. "And you, Shenshen? Something wrong with your eye?

Shenshen touched her eye in confusion and Pfannee jeered at the green girl before returning to the conversation. "I would continue on, but I think I have to go. Something in this room made me sick. Coming, Shenshen?"

The second girl nodded her head quickly and the two left as fast as their heel-clad feet could carry them.

"Hey, you made them leave!" Galinda pouted.

"Surprisingly, they have enough brainpower to move their own legs," Elphaba said coolly.

"You're a witch, you know that?"

"How lovely."

"I wasn't finished! I made that word up. It's a word that combines 'wicked' and 'bitch'. You're a Wicked Bitch!"

Elphaba briefly looked up at Galinda before returning to her research. "Nice vocabulary, Miss Galinda."

"Um, thanks? Now, let me create my account."

The two roommates spent the rest of the afternoon doing homework. Or, at least, that's what Galinda pretended to be doing. Because really, she was instant-communicationing with Shenshen.

**PrettiNPink4Ever: **i hate the greeny!  
**iAmPoPuLeR: **me to

…And that was pretty much the gist of their whole conversation. When Galinda became bored with Shenshen, she moved on to a more intellectual conversation with Pfannee.

**PrettiNPink4Ever: **did u know that you can make smile faces???  
**pfashionpfann: **no wey!!! how?  
**PrettiNPink4Ever: **u use the ) for the smile and : for the eyes  
**pfashionpfann: **u r just 2 good!  
**PrettiNPink4Ever: **nuh uh.  
**pfashionpfann: **r 2  
**PrettiNPink4Ever: **oh shut up.  
**pfashionpfann: **sry:(  
**PrettiNPink4Ever: **…its ok! talk to you later… oh and i love the smile face :-)  
**pfashionpfann:** ??? i thawt i made a frown face. but o my gosh thanks!!! bye bye

Galinda closed the screen with self-satisfaction, definitely feeling like she had learned alot from that conversation. Only thing was, she didn't know how to turn off the computer.

"Elphaba? How do you turn it off?"

Her roommate emitted a very annoyed sigh before saying, "You press and hold the On button for three clock ticks."

"No, stupid," Galinda said, rolling her eyes. Honestly, it was like she was the only one with intelligence around here. "I said the _off _button."

Elphaba clenched her teeth in frustration. "My apologies. I guess you'll have to figure it out yourself, then."

"I will!"

Needless to say, it stayed on.

- - -

The following morning, everyone was chattering excitedly about the new laptops and their thrillifying instant-communicationing.

However, that subject was temporarily pushed to the back of their minds, for something new and even more exciting had occurred: there was a new boy at Shiz. Not only was he new, but he was extremely handsome and so, of course, Galinda made talking to him a priority.

That is, after she shooed that dreadful Munchkin away.

"Miss Galinda, I think you're beautiful," he breathed.

"That's very nice, Biq, but–"

"It's Boq, Miss Galinda. Look, I was wondering if we could go out tonight."

"I'll talk to you later," Galinda finished. She strode off, leaving Boq all alone to replay the first _real_ conversation he'd had with the love of his life over and over again. This was definitely a hot topic for his OzJournal. He gazed at the back of the blonde's head, his heart aflutter with true love, as she made her way over to the new kid. Curious, Boq crept up to a tree near the boy and hid behind it.

Said boy was holding a piece of paper in his hands, looking very confused.

"May I help you?" Galinda asked. Boq gasped – she was supposed to be helping _him_!

"Um, yes," the boy said in a daze. "History class? I dunno…somewhere?"

"Lucky for you, it just ended. So how about you and I spend some time alone, pretty boy? I'm ready to get my bed all shook up," Galinda raised her eyebrows in what she hoped to be a seducing look. You know, when the eyes are close to popping out of their socket?

"I'm all for a Science lesson."

And so the two went off to do their thing. Their together thing.

Boq watched in horror as they walked away and winced as the stupid boy grabbed Glinda's butt. How rude! He had to devise a plan to get Galinda back, and maybe the labtobs…loptaps?…laptops!...could help.

- - -

**IVoteforAnimalEquality: **So, Miss Elphaba, you see? There is something very bad happening in Oz.  
**PhosphorescentlyGreen: **I understand, Dr. Dillamond. But shouldn't we warn the Wizard?  
**IVoteforAnimalEquality: **Um…I have a feeling he's very bad, too.  
**PhosphorescentlyGreen: **But the Wizard is Wonderful!  
**IVoteforAnimalEquality: **The Ox professor from Quox sure doesn't think so…  
**PhosphorescentlyGreen: **I don't understand.  
**IVoteforAnimalEquality: **More on that later. Bye, Miss Elphaba!

- - -

**PrettiNPink4Ever: **¿cómo te llamas?  
**2HottnShallow4U:** fiyero  
**PrettiNPink4Ever: **¡qué chévere!  
**2HottnShallow4U:** sí. yo tengo aburrimiento…¿quieres ir a mi dormitorio?  
**PrettiNPink4Ever:** claro. ;-)

**

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**

**Author's Translation/Note:**

PrettiNPink4Ever: what is your name?  
**2HottnShallow4U:** fiyero  
**PrettiNPink4Ever: **how awesome!  
**2HottnShallow4U:** yep. i'm bored…want to come to my room?  
**PrettiNPink4Ever:** sure. ;)

Do tell me if the Spanish is completely unnecessary. Please.

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Last edited: July 7, 2007


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